The Style Invitational Week 947 Tour de Fours VIII
By Pat Myers, Updated: Friday, November 25, 3:18 AM
Volenta: Corn mush dish baked with
mushrooms, cream and rodent.
Lemonlemon: A fruit that’s fresh-looking
on the outside, but dry and shriveled when you open it up.
El Nono: An unwelcome change in the
weather.
It’s our eighth annual Tour
de Fours neologism contest. And since the results will run Dec. 25: Come up
with a new word or two-word term that includes the letter block N-O-E-L, in any
order but with no other letters between them, and define it, as in the examples
above. Someone else might come up with the same word you do, so it may well be
the cleverest definition, or perhaps the funniest sentence used as an example,
that earns the Invite ink.
Winner gets the Inker, the
official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a Santa Dreidel,
donated by Jolly Ecumenical Loser Russell Beland, featuring not only Reb
Nicholas but also a reindeer, candy cane and decorated tree.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug.
Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a
tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, Dec. 5; results
published Dec. 25 (Dec. 23 online). No more than 25 entries per entrant per
week. Include “Week 947” in your e-mail subject line or it may be ignored as
spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry.
See contest rules and guidelines at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. The
revised title for next week is by Judy Blanchard; this week’s
honorable-mentions subhead is by Amanda Yanovitch.
Report from Week 943, our perennial Ask Backwards contest, in which we gave the answers,
you gave the questions:
The winner of the Inker
A. Dan
Snyder’s new dinghy.
Q. On what sinking vessel do
you not only rearrange the deck chairs, but then charge the passengers for
their “improved” seats? (Danny Bravman, Chicago)
2. Winner of the book of Day
of the Dead paper dolls:
A. 141 characters.
Q. Why did the governor’s
tweet ending with “my favorite sight, the desert sun on a red Arizona butte”
embarrass her? (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.)
3. A. The
Easter Bunny but not the Tooth Fairy.
Q. Who is innocent of
trafficking in children’s body parts? (Russ Taylor, Vienna,
Va.)
4. A. 9-9-1,342.
Q. What would be the
four-year win-loss-tie record for Major League Soccer if it hadn’t used penalty
shootouts? (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
A. Honorable mentions. Q. Which mentions are these?
Not until after Thanksgiving:
When would Rick Perry respond
to a request for clemency for an execution scheduled for Nov. 1? (David Genser, Poway, Calif.)
Would you make me a giblet,
cranberry and green bean sandwich? (Barbara Turner, Takoma
Park, Md.)
What did Miles Standish tell
the Pilgrim men who wanted to attack the Indians? (Courtney Knauth, Washington)
When is it considered odd to stick
your hand up a turkey’s butt? (Rick Haynes, Boynton Beach,
Fla.)
What’s the worst thing a guy
could hear his wife say on New Year’s Eve? (Bill Coffin,
Silver Spring, Md.)
141 characters:
What was the main benefit of
the failed Twitter Platinum Plus? (Mike Caslin, Round Hill,
Va.)
What is Mitt Romney’s
character like? (David Genser)
What is the furthest anyone
has read in a “read this agreement before continuing installation”? (J.D. Berry, Springfield, Va.)
What’s the length limit set
for racehorse names by the Kyrgyzstan Jockey Club? (Stephen
Dudzik, Olney, Md.)
How many characters were
searching for an author before Pirandello’s editor read his play? (Keith
Waites, Frederick, Md.)
Why is the play “Your Mama’s
Lost Weekend” such an expensive production? (Dixon Wragg,
Santa Rosa, Calif.)
Ben & Jerry’s next flavor:
What is Kardashian Split? (Judy Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)
What do you call the
Stillers’ shared-girlfriend-to-be? (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
What’s the least imaginative
idea for the name of Ben & Jerry’s next flavor? (Larry
Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)
What is Heavenly#? (Judy
Blanchard)
The far corner of Michelle Obama’s
garden:
What is fertile
ground for White House leeks? (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.; Barbara Turner)
Where will Andrew Breitbart
“find” marijuana plants in October 2012? (Pam Sweeney,
Burlington, Mass.)
Where did astute Secret
Service agents find a partially hidden carton of Kools? (Rob
Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.)
Where is the plant located
that the president promised would see double-digit growth next spring? (Bill
Smith, Reston)
Dan Snyder’s new dinghy:
What does the Sultan of
Brunei call the $70 million yacht Lady Anne? (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
9-9-1,342:
What was the
mushroom-pepperoni-anchovy ratio that got Herman Cain fired from Godfather’s
Pizza? (Elliott Jaffa, Arlington, Va.)
When the officer asked her to
step out of the car and count back from 100, how did Lindsay Lohan respond?
(John Ruml, Arlington, Va., a First Offender)
What were the respective
number of lives of Snowball, Ginger, and The Cat That Came Back? (Eric Fritz, Silver Spring, Md.)
Is it true, Herr Schmidt,
that you’ve read “Steppenwolf” 1,341 times? (Barrie Collins, Long Sault,
Ontario)
Only if you delete two words:
When the president negotiates
with Republicans, is his motto still “Yes we can”? (Gary Crockett)
Mr. Lincoln, how about this
ending? “And that government of the people, by the people, for the people with
money shall not perish from the earth.” (John O’Byrne, Dublin)
Is there a mechanic available
to check out my rack and pinion? (Judy Blanchard)
What is “Only two words”? (Brian Cohen, Potomac, Md.)
Will the Capitals return from
the playoffs this season with bruises, Stanley Cup and hangovers? (Dean Hebert, Mechanicsville, Md.)
The Easter Bunny but not the Tooth
Fairy:
Who says chocolate won’t rot
your teeth? (Robert Schechter, Dix Hills, N.Y.)
Who’s welcome at the Bachmann
house? (Pam Sweeney)
Twilight VII:
In which movie does the
47-year-old Taylor Lautner not appear shirtless? (Rob Huffman; Pam Sweeney)
What is the “Snow White”
remake where the dwarfs eat the apple instead? (Bob
DiPasquale, Round Rock, Tex.)
On Visigoths’ daily planners,
what falls between “Suppertime VI” and “Ransack Rome VIII”? (Elwood
Fitzner, Valley City, N.D.)
A crumpet and marmalade party:
If Rick Perry Republicans are
the Tea Party, what are Mitt Romney Republicans? (Gary Crockett)
Roman cavalry choirs:
Who were the Horsemen of the
A Cappella Lips? (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Who have V songs in this
week’s Top XL? (Steve Glomb, Alexandria)
Who performed with Bob Hope
on his first USO tour? (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.)
Next week: No, it’s just you, or The
Lonely hars club